OH GOSH... this is it.. tomorrow is the day....

I am sooo sick to my stomach... I feel like I am going to the bathroom soon and not sure which end it is going to come out of because I am soooo stressed about tomorrow that it will go smooth. It has messed my entire system up. sigh...( I just took the biggest sigh ever...)

We are soo used to things going wrong so what is happening is I am getting sick as ever with worry... frantic panicing that we won't get her! sigh... another long sigh.... I should have taken off work today too!

I have to stop typing as I am so sick with fear!

Love is thicker than water....

Who says blood is thicker than water.... I think love is thicker than water. You do not have to have the same blood to love unconditionally. You do not have to have the same blood to be family.. so why wouldn't it be, "love is thicker than water"! Well, that is how I am going to be anyway. Not only am I gaining a Daughter with the rights of parenthood... I also gain a sister/friend. I feel like I wish she was my daughter.... but she is an adult.. and has been a friend to me in a way that no one else ever can. She is giving David and I the gift of love, parenthood, and so much joy that a person could every want. She is giving us her heart and for this I am gratful. But she isn't losing out... I know it seems that way... and I could never know what she is feeling inside, but she will get to see her baby girl whenever she wants, she will have full contact to know how each day and night is if she would like. She will get pictures and be able to see the happiness her daughter will always have in her life. She has given us a gift like no one else can or will. She is my angel... and I have said that from the beginning. I took a big risk... a large chance in order to make J's life better. I did it for her, me and her Mom. Everyone told me it wouldn't work,,, I shouldn't have done this, I was making a big mistake. But I knew better. I followed my gut. I took that risk that a lot of people would never do. And I am glad I did because it has proven to be a risk worth taking. I am so lucky to have a birth mom in my life that I love as family, enjoy like a sister and get to talk to every day. I am one of the lucky ones. I think she is lucky to have us too. No one next to her can take care of her daughter like we will and have. It's an amazing miracle that has proven true to the statement, good things come to those that wait. But it was a rough wait... a long road, a terrible, fun, exciting, scary, aweful, blessed and wonderful Journey.