J

Well, things are looking up! We have a little girl that I have wanted since she was born. She was given to another family while my case-worker was on vacation:o(. Although the anger was great, holding her at the Methodist Home Christmas party was wonderful... and sad a little for David and I as we fell in love with her the moment we laid eyes on her.

We ended up not staying long at the party as we were kinda a little let down. I didn't want to leave Journey... I felt she was meant for me. I got in the car and said " that is our baby!"

Then, several weeks later... well I guess a month later (1 wk ago...) we got a call from Karri our case-worker that we could have J possibly if her Mom still wasn't visiting or contacting them. As they have tried to contact her by phone and by letter several times with no response.
(well,,,, that is what we were told anyway)
So now, on the 22nd of January 2010, we will start respite visits with her... for two weekends in a row until we get her full time. The selfish part of me doesn't want her to.... the heart of me wants her to come and wisk J away and have her forever... because... very simply... she is her birthmom! Gosh you have to know her heart aches for J... but at the same time... so does mine.

I already love this Baby. WE ALREADY love her! David is so smitten with her. Then again so am I! I have already been sewing dresses for her. In fact as soon as I got the MAYBE that we would get her... I made her a dress right away! I picked out a beautiful blue color that I knew would look good against her beautiful skin.... the skin color we wanted from the beginning ;o)

sigh.... so in love and we still have two weeks to wait! I have to be patient. Afterall... there is a chance that we won't get her. You never know what could happen in two weeks.

I didn't get to spend the first 5 months with her... but I know this foster family is treating her so well. They are angels! Gosh I hope they don't change their minds too! GOSH!

Anyway... back on J! We LOVE the name...

So... although scared... we are hoping that we get to keep little J! We are hoping that it all comes out the way we want. But it is in God's hands. As it always has been his plan for us.

So off to worrying... off to hoping wishing and wondering... but it will be worth it... as long as J is happy and well taken care of... and very very LOVED!

2 weeks will take forever for me! Even if we get her for a little while... I will be happy.
What a journey this will be!