I can continue to talk about meeting up with old friends. Yesterday I met up with another dear friend of mine and we went to lunch together. We talked for at least 2 hours. The anticipation of meeting with her after so long was abundant and full of exciting anticipation!
Face book has become a wonderful thing about 99% of the time. The only thing is going into the talk about David and I not being able to have babies. I know they cannot understand it, as I knew she wouldn't as well. Knowing I should be able to be a Mom and how great of a Mom I would be. Talking about it still chokes me up at times.. and I knew when enough was enough. I sucked it up and change the subject to how happily married I am and how I have found my soul mate!
It was so good to see her; after all, we both had been through a lot regarding our past situations. Luckily I didn't marry mine like she did. Although she had two beautiful children from that marriage. It was good to see her happy. She looked as beautiful as ever. As we sat to catch up she had to give me some news that she was scared to tell me. Something that she felt she should mention.... I already knew... after all I had been through this before. Something in her voice and her expressions and the "dinner" that she ever so slightly spoke about through e-mails all told me so. She is seeing my ex... the one I cried about for hours on her shoulder so many yrs. ago. It was still a surprise as it rolled off of her tongue, with a giddy sparkle in her eyes. I was so happy for her, scared for her and I felt weird. HA! Why... I have no idea, after all, I wasn't sad, or angry by any means of the word... I was astonished of how she got to where she is today and how weird it seemed too. I was afraid after all of this time of not seeing her... (10 yrs or more) that now; once again, I couldn't see her as much. I felt as if a friend was given back and taken away in a flash. Of coarse it brought out good, bad and the ugly feelings all over again. But that is to be expected... after all, he used to be the love of my life and she knew that.
I think the comfort of her talking to me about it, just showed me we picked up right where we left off... a good honest friendship with no secretes or lies. I was a tad worried... but again, he is a grown man now. Things aren't always like they used to be and I was so happy to have her in my life again. Hey we all love or loved each other at one time, so the love extended to them from me in a way that is good and healthy...after I slept on it of coarse....
I went home and hugged David, threw my arms around him and told him how lucky I was to have him. These little things that seem gloomy and wicked, are only things that make my marriage stronger and it is the little things like this that remind me of how important my marriage is to me and how thankful I am to have a husband that is so perfect and great in all the ways. As she has found this in someone that wasn't that for me. We all have soul mates and we all can find love in people that some do not. It makes me smile today, as I couldn't yesterday that this is the way life is and what matters is the love we have for one another. I wish her well and look forward to our friendship again as she is and was a great friend and worth having in my life today.
I love you friend, wish you well and know the best is yet to come for you. It's good to see you happy...it was wonderful seeing you again.
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