So much is going on....

It has been so long since I wrote on this. I think I kinda forgot about it actually. I have been really busy... trying to get my business up and running. So much has been going on...
This young lady that I have been talking to back and forth on FB... turned out to be J's Mommy. I was surprised... and shocked. I had spilled my guts about how I felt about her daughter... and about the situations we have been put thru. I know it is ok... but I built a friendship with her. She is so sweet... kind and so beautiful. She seems to be a great Mom to her other two children. They are adorable. How could I not know... well her other two children look different. Skin color and hair and eye color. I think baby J will get darker skined. She seems to be darker all over than her face. She is a beauty. I am so happy I know her BM... as I got to know her first before I knew it was really her. In fact... I decided not to find the her. I knew it was too risky.... and low and behold... it was her I was already talking to. WOW.... She seems to want us to adopt Baby J... We actually...(now that I know her Mommy) just want her to have a safe happy home that is permanent. She is getting to the age that this back and forth thing isn't going to be good for her in the long run. She needs stability... and lots more attention... and to gain more weight as she weighs so little. I think that comes from lack of attention, or too much stimulation with all the children around her..... But she is being taken care of... and that is good. We put ourselves on the list for another baby, as we cannot wait for baby J... and later find out we cannot have her. So to save our hearts we are moving on. Not letting go... just moving forward. Turning the page not closing the book. We would take her in a heart beat and give her a life to be dreamed of. We also would really want to have her Mom in our lives. She is special to me... and if she was younger I would beg to adopt her too! Not that she needs adopting... I just have a bond with her. :o) Anyway... we are moving forward.. with a heavy heart. She is not ours... as much as we would like her to be. But what is meant to be will happen and the right baby will be in our home. Whether it is her or another baby... we are just so ready to be parents... we need that in our lives. :o) Everything is perfect... we are just missing that one link. ;o)